"The only problem with a 20-year-old body is that it comes with a 20-year-old brain."

I've been back in L.A. for a few days now, but have been a little too preoccupied to write anything new. First of all, I have been trying for months to secure a freelance gig that may or may not pay, and may or may not get me published, in a magazine that may or may not have a circulation of almost 500 people, and this past week was the first where I was more than 50% convinced that something might come out of all the emails between the editor and myself. This is primarily because he is being a bit more responsive than normal and seems to need me on the job. Second, I'm a little behind schedule at the gig that does pay. Third, I lost my iPhone, and getting back on the communication grid has been more or less of an ordeal.

But now I'm here, sitting at my computer (in my underwear, of course), and trying to kill time while I build a custom .ipsw file for my "new" iPhone 3GS, which is really a downgrade from the 4 that I previously had but lost. Unlike other humans who are here because of Darwinian natural selection, I did not have any anti-theft devices in place on my phone. Passcode lock? Had it, got annoyed every time I needed to use the navigation system while driving. Find My iPhone? I wasn't even aware of the app's existence until the night I lost my phone, at which point it was too late anyway. Besides, it only runs on iOS 5 and I was still on Firmware 4.1. And trust me, I called and texted my number a million times, making pathetic appeals to the new owner's nonexistent conscience. I suppose giving up your conscience for a $700 phone is a fair trade.

I hate people. Especially poor people. Especially poor people with no credit that can't get an iPhone of their own.

But Reeny, you might say, you're poor (all writers are), and you owe Uncle Sam a lot of money for putting you through college, so your credit's probably not fantastic at the moment...

Shut it.

***

I wrote all of the above two days ago, left it in draft form, and forgot to publish it. Basically, my phone had finished installing the firmware and I got distracted with setting it up. Oh well. Read on for my two-day update.

***

Here's a bit of advice for smartphone users: never downgrade to an older model. After a year of looking at pictures and applications on an iPhone 4, going back to a 3GS is like taking out my contacts and viewing the world through a bubble-wrap lens.

That is all.