"Being in love with penis is not a disability."

The strangest thing happened just now.

For months, my beloved Yamaha sat untouched in my room as I focused my time on more literary activities: reading, writing, and trying to con people into giving me money for my writing. I'm doing pretty well on the first two - I recently finished reading a couple of books, and just completed the first chapter of my novel - but I haven't had much success pimping out my wordsmithing skills.

Today I decided to give myself a break. Actually, it wasn't so much that I decided to give myself a break as it was that I was inexplicably overcome with a sudden desire to make music. So I sat at my piano and began to play.

I had only been playing for about 10 minutes when there was a knock at my door. "Uh, just a second," I called out while rushing to put some pants on.

I opened the door to see an Asian guy about my age on the other side. "Was that you playing the piano just now?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Wow. I just wanted to tell you that I heard you in the hallway and I had to find out where the music was coming from. You're very talented."

"Thank you!"

Long story short, the guy at my door was also a musician. He lived in my building and was looking for people to collaborate and produce tracks with. It was then that I remembered the entire reason I had moved to L.A. in the first place: music!

Who knows, maybe I'll be able to find a job doing what I love after all.

"I wish I could play tambourine like him."

I was watching a movie while snacking on chips and soda. As always, my soda went flat before I could finish it. So I poured some scotch into my soda. Problem solved. In fact, the more scotch there was in the soda the less I noticed that it had gone flat.

Just make sure you don't accidently pour your soda into your scotch instead.