"I have the bloody leg he gave me still in its box."

So here's my take on Instagram. Not that anyone will care, because Instagram has like eleventy billion users and I, of course, have to be the lone dissenting voice.

You can probably guess where I'm going with this. I don't like Instagram. Now, before all you hipsters look over your fake glasses at me and throw your cigarette butts in my direction, let me just say that it's not because I don't like the photos that come out of the app, or because I think the people who use it are stupid. (Or unoriginal. Or annoying. Or delusional about the fact that they became Ansel Adams overnight and think that every photo they take with their 5-megapixel camera phone is suddenly worth sharing.)

The plain and simple fact is that when it comes to photo manipulation, I prefer Photoshop. I say this not as an artiste, or as a photographer, but as a control freak. There's no way I will ever allow some one-step application to mess with my pictures knowing that I'll lose the original copy forever.

My photos might look over-edited, but damn it, at least it was by my own hand.

"She's not so bad if you don't look at her for who she really is."

One topic of conversation that has come up over and over lately is the movie Gattaca. It's been quite a while since my last viewing, so I decided to revisit the film. I loved it the first time I saw it, and after seeing it again, nothing has changed, except that as a writer now I might love it even more.

SPOILER ALERT: I talk about the ending here, so if you haven't yet seen Gattaca, then please close your browser window, get thee to a video store post haste, and watch the damn movie before continuing on.

Gattaca is a prime example of good writing. Of course I love the story and the way it combines so many different movie genres into one, but what makes it really great is the incredible depth given to each character. Everyone in the story has a secret, an ailment, or a past that they must come to terms with. And even though the film doesn't focus as much attention on everyone else's background as it does our protagonist, it does give us a glimpse at the some of the difficulties that the other characters might have to endure.

My favorite character is not one that most people would expect it to be. Don't get me wrong; I think the three leads are great. Even though they are stock characters - Ethan Hawke as the hero, Uma Thurman as his romantic interest, and Jude Law as his confidant and friend - they are far more complex than a two-hour movie could ever allow. The guy we're supposed to cheer for is an obsessive fraud, his girlfriend is snoop who is plagued by insecurity, and his sidekick, a crippled alcoholic suffering from depression, is actually genetically superior to him. But, well-written and multidimensional that each of these people may be, none of them are my favorite character.

No, my favorite character is the one that took me by surprise the first time I saw Gattaca. My favorite character is the lab technician who administers Vincent's blood and urine tests: Lamar.

When we are first introduced to Lamar, he comes off, in my opinion, as a creepy older guy who probably has a gay crush on "Jerome." Lamar watches closely as Vincent pees into a cup, then makes a wildly inappropriate comment about his junk. "A beautiful piece of equipment, there, Jerome. Have I ever told you that?" "Only every time I'm in here." Gross.

You'd think that Lamar would stop there, but he doesn't. He goes on to say, "I see a great many in the course of any given day; yours just happens to be an exceptional example. Don't know why my folks didn't order one like that for me." And now we have a situation bordering on sexual harassment, which Vincent must tolerate in order to stay employed at Gattaca. It is understandable then, that when Lamar asks if he's ever told Vincent about his son, the response he gets is a short "No, you haven't." After testing the sample, Lamar tries to make small talk about the upcoming launch to Titan, but it is clear that Vincent cannot wait to get out of the lab.

We don't see much of Lamar throughout the film. On the rare occasion that he does make an appearance, he is presented as an adversary who could expose Vincent at any moment. But he comes back at the end, just as "Jerome" is about to board the ship. Vincent panics when he realizes that he is expected to give one last urine sample and does not have any of the real Jerome's DNA on him. He is too distressed to even notice what Lamar is saying to him as he reluctantly yields a sample of his own urine.

"I never did tell you about my son, did I? He's a big fan of yours. He wants to apply here. Unfortunately, my son's not all that they promised. But then, who knows what he could do. Right?"

Lamar tests the sample and reveals Vincent's true identity: IN-VALID. But even more shocking is what he reveals next.

"For future reference, right-handed men don't hold it with their left."

He knew all along.

Suddenly, your perception of Lamar changes. He goes from being a creepy older guy with no filter to a sympathetic father figure who understands Vincent's struggle. Lamar's son is a fan of Vincent probably because Lamar told his son all about Vincent. Unlike Vincent's own father, Lamar encourages his son to pursue his dreams despite the failings of his genetic engineering, and uses Vincent as an example that this is possible. Why else would he have let him pass all those times before?

You start to realize that those inappropriate comments at the beginning of the film were actually just Lamar's subtle way of hinting that he knew the truth. He made no bones about his careful observation every time "Jerome" took a leak into a cup, probably because he wanted to see where it was really coming from. And even though he knew Vincent used trickery to get through every substance test, Lamar secretly cheered him on to succeed. The cool thing about Gattaca is that it is able to suggest all of this without ever saying any of it. And to do a complete 180 on a character with just a few lines of dialogue, well... that is some great writing.

"Okay, I'm eight years old. This is for real now."

It's been far too long since I've posted something, and I'm starting to feel like a negligent parent who has abandoned her child. (Yet another reason not to have kids. If I can't even maintain a blog, how will I ever maintain a living, breathing, humanoid replica of myself?)

It's summer in L.A. and the city is coming alive. I don't mean that it's buzzing with activity - this place is much too spread out for that - I mean Los Angeles is making an honest-to-goodness attempt to be a functioning metropolis by investing in Downtown. It's kind of cute, actually. Like The Little Engine That Could.

First step: expanding Metro Rail to the Westside. When the project finishes, the Expo Line will traverse the distance between Downtown L.A. and Santa Monica, but for now you can take the train as far as Culver City. Since I work in Culver City, this is a fabulous development for me... should I ever feel like walking for two miles in sweltering heat from the rail station to the office. At the end of the day, it'll still be a one-hour commute, but hey, at least it won't be because I was sitting in traffic on the 10.

Second step: opening up a Target at 7th and Figueroa. I haven't yet decided if this is good news or bad news. On the one hand, it's good news because I love Target, but on the other hand, it's bad news because, well, I love Target. I don't know how that store always manages to suck me in, but it's pretty much impossible for me to enter and exit a Target without spending at least a hundred dollars.

Third step: bringing in residents. Many former hotels have been remodeled into studio apartments that are renting out for cheap, in the hopes of attracting people to the city's loft-living lifestyle. I'll be honest though, it sounds much cooler than it really is. My "loft" is more of a tiny-apartment-with-kind-of-high-ceilings, and the only chance of having an upper level here is if I ever decide to buy a loft bed.

Fourth step: bringing in brand-name retailers. There is a huge Guess? ad on the corner of 7th and Grand that appears to be covering up construction of a new store. Unfortunately, it's just an ad, and Guess? doesn't have any plans to open up a store in the area any time soon. But it's the appearance that counts. Maybe it'll be enough to fool other retailers into thinking that Downtown is turning into a major shopping scene. Hey, it worked on Target.

If Downtown L.A. does manage to attract more major retailers, it will lead to even more urban development, more job opportunities, more city-dwellers, more tax dollars, more nightlife, more tourists, more expensive rents, more traffic...

Um, never mind. I can handle the drunks, the tourists, and the possible increases in rent, but I draw the line at more traffic.